Simping

Hardy’s Far from the Madding Crowd explores a paradox all young men are familiar with: girls will often be interested in you only as long as you don’t pay attention to them.

The way to solve this conundrum is to realise that attention isn’t a thing in an of itself. It’s a signal. And the signal can carry various meanings depending on the context.

What women want is a man who can afford not to pay attention to them. An independent dude who has passions and priorities beyond the relationship.

You can, of course, fake this. You may paint a false image of yourself that conveys confidence and self-reliance. Or you could drop the pretenses, grow a pair of balls, and actually be that man. The choice is yours.

Women want attention—but they don’t want clinginess, pampering, or empty reverence. They want a specific kind of attention.

The men in Madding Crowd fail to grasp this. They are either blind to women or utterly, platonically enthralled by them. They yo-yo between these two sexless states without ever finding the sweet spot of caring for women while maintaining an identity.

Tie yourself to the mast and rejoice in the song of sirens.